At Home Skills/Tips to Build Independent & Confident Children

I hope your summer is going well so far! The Ziegler family is using this time to reset, take things at a slower pace and spend a lot of time at the pool. However you choose to spend your summer, I hope you are able to recharge! 

Although summer is great it can come with its challenges. Routines are off, flexibility is required and daily skills practiced by students when they come to school are not happening as often. Due to the unique schedule of summer, I wanted to write this article to share with you some self help skills to be working on with your children to help them grow in their confidence and independence. I hope you find these tips and tricks helpful!   

• Have your child order their own meal at a restaurant. This includes walking up to the counter on their own to order and pay if you are at a coffee or donut shop. It is easier to order for them, however practicing this skill gives students a sense of pride and makes them comfortable communicating with adults. (Lower School focused)  
• Sit at a restaurant or walk through the grocery store without any electronic devices. This allows students to patiently wait or engage in conversation. If it’s a longer grocery store or restaurant visit, use a notepad and writing utensil instead of a phone/ipad to keep their attention. (All age groups) 
• Allow your child to walk or ride their bike down the street a couple blocks. This is harder for parents than it is for children. Before letting them go out of your sight, talk them through and demonstrate necessary skills, such as looking both ways before crossing the street, reciting your phone number and ensuring they can properly use the brakes on their bike. (Lower & Intermediate School focused)
• Practice and initiate times when your children have to wait their turn. There are not nearly as many opportunities when they’re not at school each day, making this a must to work on. Make time to play and practice these skills with your child, asking them to play with a toy they have or telling them they can have yours when you’re done playing with it. (Early Childhood focused)
• Cleaning up after activities and organizing one space per day in your house. This is a tough one for me because we play with a lot of things! Putting things away before getting something new out teaches children to play with one thing at a time instead of running from one thing to the next. Also, choosing one space to clean per day keeps your house cleaning demands manageable instead of having one big cleanup day during the week. (All age groups)
• Ask your children to put on their clothes and shoes independently. Carve out time so you are not in a rush and have enough time to practice if this is a new skill for them. (Early Childhood & K focused)
• Sit at the dinner table and eat together as a family at the same time. Expect your children to sit at the table for the entirety of the meal instead of running around or eating at a different location. (All age groups)  
• Encourage your children to use silverware when eating instead of their hands. This is great fine motor practice for children to build grip strength which is an important first step of handwriting. (Early Childhood focused) 
• Allow your child to pour their own drink in a cup. Yes, it’s easier to do this yourself, but the sooner they practice the sooner they will gain this skill. That will make life easier for you! (PK & Lower School focused)
• Make it an expectation that everyone at the table puts their own dishes in the sink or dishwasher at the end of meals. Not only will this give children independence and responsibility, but it will make the cleanup process go faster! (All age groups)
• Establish daily or weekly chores for students to do to earn an allowance or “commission”. Commission means that students get money for completing the chores or jobs they were assigned, teaching them the value of work and money. There are still chores that are non-negotiables, like cleaning your room or taking out the trash, that are expected and not paid duties. Come up with 3-5 chores your children can do and decide the monetary value for completing them. (Lower, Intermediate & Middle School focused)   
• Allow your child to independently take a bath or shower on their own. First, observe and talk with them to see if they understand the correct steps, and then allow them to give it a try on their own. (Early Childhood & Lower School focused) 
• Schedule time for independent play, without electronic devices, so children can engage in creative activities. This could be 30 minutes to one hour per day. (All age groups) 
• Allow your child to play outside in the backyard on their own. Check to see if they are still visible, but allow them to play independently. This is also more practice for parents than it is the kids! (PK & Lower School focused)
• Guide students to wait their turn to speak instead of them trying to talk over you. This could include having them put their hand on your arm quietly while they wait until you are ready to acknowledge them. This is another way to teach them the importance of waiting their turn. (All age groups)
• Schedule a consistent time, preferably for 10 minutes, to read or look through books each day. I don’t need to include data for how important this is, you just need to do it! (All age groups)

I highly encourage you to try one, two or all of the suggestions listed above. Working on self help lifeskills at a young age will help your children blossom and set a foundation that will follow them for the rest of their lives … No pressure! :) Also, don’t beat yourself up if you haven’t implemented any of these things yet. There are no perfect parents and there’s no time better to start than right now! 

Enjoy your summer and I look forward to chatting with many of you about this to see how it went when we return in the fall!