Executive Edge: Teaching Executive Skills Directly: “B is for Behavior”

In parenting, teaching executive functioning skills is a game-changer. Chapter 7 of Smart but Scattered by Peg Dawson and Richard Guare highlights the importance of moving beyond just modifying a child’s environment to directly teaching them how to manage tasks independently. While environmental interventions can help reduce challenges, they aren’t portable. This article focuses on two approaches to teaching executive skills—informally and through targeted interventions.

Teaching Executive Skills Informally

Everyday moments are opportunities to build your child’s executive skills without feeling like you're giving a formal lesson. Research shows that parents who use "verbal scaffolding" with their children from a young age help foster better problem-solving and goal-directed behaviors. Here’s how you can infuse this approach into daily life.

Verbal Scaffolding

Verbal scaffolding is a powerful tool that most parents use instinctively. It involves guiding your child through tasks by asking questions, offering gentle prompts, or providing examples to support success. These moments could happen during morning routines, meal prep, or while running errands.

Examples of Verbal Scaffolding in Action

• Association with Location: "Where does the puzzle piece fit? Which drawer should we put your socks in?"
• Connecting to Past Experiences: "That’s a giraffe—remember the one we saw at the zoo?"
• Describing Sensory Experiences: "This soup is spicy," or "That whistle sounds like a blue jay."
• Problem-Solving Prompts: "If you press too hard, the pencil lead will break."
• Explaining Cause and Effect: "You need to wear shoes because the ground is too cold."
• Encouraging Self-Reflection: "What do you think worked well in your project? What could you do differently next time?"

These strategies promote metacognition—helping kids think about their thinking—and foster critical executive skills like working memory, flexibility, and emotional regulation.

Using Games to Build Executive Skills

Games are another fantastic way to help your child practice executive functioning. Many board games, such as Candy Land or Monopoly, naturally build skills like attention, response inhibition, and planning. Sports fantasy leagues can help older kids practice task initiation and time management.

When playing games, emphasize the skills being used. For instance, highlight how they planned their moves or adjusted their strategy when something didn’t go as expected.

Incorporating Executive Skills Into Family Activities

Everyday family activities like meal planning, grocery shopping, and vacation prep are rich with opportunities to build executive skills. Here’s how to maximize the benefits:

1. Be Active and Available: Model skills and ask questions while your child participates.
2. Provide Decision-Making Power: Let your child make age-appropriate choices (e.g., "What should we pack for the trip?").
3. Gauge Your Child’s Readiness: Adjust tasks to suit their interest and attention span to set them up for success.

Teaching Executive Skills Directly

Sometimes, informal strategies aren’t enough, and targeted interventions are necessary. Follow these steps to teach your child specific executive skills:

Step 1: Identify the Problem Behavior

Focus on defining the behavior in actionable terms. For example, instead of saying, "My child is lazy," frame it as, "My child doesn’t pick up toys after playing."

Step 2: Set a Goal

Transform the problem behavior into a positive, observable goal. Instead of "Stop forgetting homework," the goal might be, "Bring homework home every day."

Involve Your Child

Include your child in goal-setting to encourage ownership and critical thinking.

Set Interim Goals

Break larger goals into smaller, manageable steps. If your child needs six reminders to start homework, aim for reducing that to three as an interim goal.

Step 3: Outline the Steps

Map out what your child needs to do to achieve their goal, such as creating a visual checklist for getting ready in the morning.

Step 4: Create a Record

Turn the steps into a list or chart for your child to reference. This helps solidify the sequence and serves as a visual reminder of what needs to be done.

Things to Remember

Teaching executive skills doesn’t have to feel overwhelming. Whether through informal strategies like verbal scaffolding or targeted approaches with specific goals, you’re equipping your child with tools they’ll use throughout life.

So, next time your child struggles with a task, remember: teaching them how to manage it is just as important as ensuring it gets done. And with a little guidance, they’ll learn to thrive independently.

Let’s keep building these critical skills together—one day, one step, one task at a time. Stay tuned to learn about motivating your child to learning executive skills!