The Power of the 10 Minute Rule

In today’s day and age it feels next to impossible to have time that is uninterrupted. Email and app notifications (ESPN for me!), phone calls, smart watches, etc. We’ve never been more distracted! It takes intentionality and discipline to stay focused on the here and now. This is an especially hard battle to fight for parents. Our kids want and need our undivided attention, and my goal is to give some advice on how we can give it to them. 

One thing I find fascinating is how different everyone’s work situation is. Some people work from home, some have summers off, some work three days on and two days off, and others travel every now and then or regularly. That means that everyone has a different schedule and way to interact with their children. Amidst all the hustle and bustle and different schedules, I want to share with you something that in my opinion seems realistic to incorporate into your daily routine.

It’s called the 10 minute rule. It's a really basic concept that means aiming to spend 10 minutes of uninterrupted time with your child each day. Uninterrupted time means no phones present, laptops open, tv on in the background or watches updating you with notifications. You might need to take that off and leave it in your room! It means that while you are together you are focused on your child(ren) without letting your mind wander or multi-tasking. Activities during this time include playing together with toys, coloring, drawing a picture, playing a game, going for a walk or just simply talking. 

This time could be scheduled whenever it’s convenient for you. It could be during dinner, after dinner, before bed, during bed time or even in the morning if you have time. If you go beyond 10 minutes, even better! If you have multiple children you can aim for 10 minutes of time per child, unless you play a game or participate in an activity all together as a family. The biggest key is making this time a consistent part of your day. You’ll notice that your kids will start to look forward to this time! Of course things will come up like when you're out of town or have a baby sitter for the evening. That could be a good time to utilize FaceTime when you can’t be present!

There are days when 10 minutes will be easy and you can spend even more time together, and other days when 10 minutes seems impossible. There are plenty of studies that show 10-15 minutes of uninterrupted time can fill your child’s emotional cup and make them feel secure, which in return will improve their overall behavior and feeling of self worth. My advice is to find a designated daily time to make this 10 minutes happen while being flexible to change the time when necessary depending on your schedule. 

A Couple Notes to Help

• Set your phone and watch in your room during this time. Turn the TV off as well. 
• Set a daily timer, if you're that kind of person, to remind you of that sacred time.
• If you travel regularly, think through how you can use technology to make this happen.
• Talk with your child about activities they would like to do ahead of that time to prepare.
• I encourage both parents to participate.
• Getting outside will give you both a fresh air boost and quality time, killing two birds with one stone.  
• After your hangouts, make note of special things your child says that you want to remember. This could help you plan future outings.
• Regardless of whether it's your chosen time or not, I highly encourage being involved in the bed time process. Kids seem to be the most open and honest during that time! 

Give the 10 minute rule a try and watch the bond with your child sky rocket!